i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
