the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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