Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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