new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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