You're so nebulous sometimes
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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