I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
