so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
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