Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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