Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
