Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
