Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
