these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
