If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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