Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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