Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
