the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
