sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
