I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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