Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
