What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
