I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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