I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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