everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
