Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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