porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I believe in your delicious
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
