i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
