TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
