Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
