i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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