you guys were way drunker than both of me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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