It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize