so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
