My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
