I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
