That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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