apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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