Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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