remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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