Pappa wants mamma naked
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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