there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
