I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
