i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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