Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
