HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to sanitize my soul.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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