I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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