What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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