I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
