Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How external is "for external use only"?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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