let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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