Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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