i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
