You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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