I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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