I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
