omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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