I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
