YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
