After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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