No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
