Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
