dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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