The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
