Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
