I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
