Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
