Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
