I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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