It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dick very happy bro
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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