ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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